So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's shark week go big or go home
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
