Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
