I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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