im holly from the hills drunk
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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