Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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