its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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