Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
