I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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