i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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