why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.