So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend