The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.