I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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