Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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