I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
