your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
50% drunk capacity currently
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
