seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
