he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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