i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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