Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
