he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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