I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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