she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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