I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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