Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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