I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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