White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
