I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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