so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
