thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
