I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
