im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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