tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
