What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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