yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
