since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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