this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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