Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
