so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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