So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
