haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
