He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
