I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
