and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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