What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
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When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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