she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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