apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
