im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
