You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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