This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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