Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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