My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
