There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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