chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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