My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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