You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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