He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My breasts were aching with rage.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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