So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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