forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
