how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
