what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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