drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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