I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
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There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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