Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it hurts more in the daytime
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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