He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
