yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize