Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
not ubering you a puppy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
